A few months ago, I posted this guide to re-entry back to the States and reverse culture shock. It’s not always easy returning to a society teeming with hustle and bustle, a lack of simplicity, in-your-face marketing, over-consumption, and and an often (not always, but often) out-of-proportion materialism (what we truly need vs. what we want…or are made to ‘think’ we ‘must have’). There can be an underlying sense of entitlement here. We are always taught to dream big and that we can have anything and everything we want. I agree with the positive aspects of this and working hard to reach your goals and dreams, but sometimes it gets mixed up with the importance of material possessions. It can be an overwhelming feeling and problematic to deal with. And we all know that admitting you have a problem is that first step, right? Try to keep it in perspective and remember that just because you are used to doing something one way, doesn’t necessarily make it right or better. I try to make changes where and when I can to my own life, and try not to get sucked back into the vortex of apathy and cocoon of oblivion that living in the United States (and other major developed nations) can sometimes create.
I found an old note that my friend Marsha had sent me when I returned after my first world tour back in 2008. She hit the nail on the head. So I had to pass it along.
What is it like coming home after an extended trip of several months to a year?
- It sucks.
- It feels surreal.
- Everyone asks you ‘what was your favorite place?’, and you want to shoot them, because you just spent 1+ years of your life on the most amazing journey possible and for someone to think that you can simplify it into a one word answer about your favorite place is just a reminder of how far apart you are from the psychology of everyone else.
- Everyone starts to immediately tell you about all of their day-to-day issues and you’ll probably hate it because you actually want to delay hearing about the “real world”.
- You feel relatively unpatriotic (and kind of guilty about that).
- It seems that everyone in the U.S. is either materialistic or fat and often both.
On the other hand, it’s pretty amazing to be back with friends and loved ones, to have a key, a door to put it in, a closet, [your own bed/sheets/pillows] and to have memories that will last a complete lifetime. The end of your journey is only the beginning of a whole new adventure.
Thanks Marsha!
Even going away for 3 months can prompt those emotions. I LOVE my home of Canada but I gotta tell you, I could have stayed away a lot longer after my trip. I was so annoyed all the time and was generally pissed after returning from Europe. I just wanted to go back. It took me about 7 months to get over this…of course I get pangs all the time.
Lisa, I see you will be hosting something soon. (wink)
Wow. I'm guilty of all of the stuff on the "sucks" list including being fat, but excluding being materialistic. Being patriotic and feeling guilt for feeling unpatriotic are both good things that come from the same place: We're not perfect, but we try to get as close as we can. Patriotism is a bit like Pride as one of the deadly sins. Too much of it blinds you to what can and should improve. Clean sheets would be more than enough to make me feel grateful to be home. You've done something few of us will ever be able to do. We live it through you which is the next best thing. The fact you've shared it so beautifully and graphically (without boastfulness) is a gift. I believe I've been with you just about everywhere, except the places I have no real interest in. We did NOT enjoy a vegemite sandwich together thankyouverymuch!
Hey, remember me?….
If you get a chance, email me as I have a couple things to mention….
Sounds like you need to find like minded people in america, it is a big place, must be some people who think the same as you.
When I got back from the Peace Corps, more than stressful, everything seemed funny or trivial.
I would be waiting in line at a restaurant and someone would be taking a long time trying to pick from the menu. That was so weird. I was thinking "Hey, just pick one. I'm sure they're all delicious!"
And I didn't think everyone was materialistic. I guess because the place I was was very accepting and forgiving, I just wanted to talk to people and hang out, regardless of their life philosophy.
In fact, that was one of my biggest complaints. People pressured me to have opinions, to take sides, to care about issues. I just wanted to be social with them, get to know them, and have a good time.
Thanks for sharing!
Eric