One Night in Bangkok (Well, really four)

After the old, dusty cities of Hanoi, Saigon, and Phnom Penh, driving into Bangkok was not at all what I expected. Modern Glass and steel buildings scraped the sky. There were big roads, big billboards and big cars—Mercedes and booming low rider trucks. It felt more like we were driving into Manhattan from the Bronx.

Bangkok First Impressions

From the distance and vantage point of our air-conditioned ghetto blaster minivan complete with gold mirrored interior and a DVD player, the city seemed more modern than anything I’d seen since Hong Kong. Bangkok seemed to teeter on the edge of old and new, hip and traditional.

Thai teens ran around the new shopping malls on their cell phones with tattoos and piercings wearing the latest trends. We were told to be careful to dress conservatively and not wear tank tops or short shorts. But then you see most of the kids and especially a lot of the gorgeous Thai young ladies (or ‘lady boys’) prancing around in stilettos and micro minis. It seems ‘times are a-changin.’

 

Traveling in Thailand with a family? Check out these things to do in Bangkok with kids.

Bangkok Red Light District

Of course, since war times, the city was a stop for GIs on their way home or a place for some R&R. Nowhere is this more evident than the red light district, Patpong. It’s still going strong today, although not as seedy as in days gone by; it’s become a favorite stop on the tourist trail. Go-Go bars and odd sex shows abound, one of the more well-known would be the ping pong ball shows–not very classy… or even sexy really. You can figure it out what these ladies do with a ping pong ball.

Bangkok’s Khao San Road

There are plenty of hotels in Bangkok as it is very well-touristed.  Khao San road is the infamous and crazy and crowded pedestrian backpacker strip with tons of bars with scantily clad Asian beauties on the sidewalk enticing thirsty travelers to come inside because they have “very strong drinks.”

The block is teeming with scruffy, smelly, dred-locked bohemians looking for a good time. Anything and everything is for sale here: bootleg CDs and DVDs, classy t-shirts with slogans like “iPood,” showing a silhouetted guy on a toilet, grilled meat on a stick (everything is better on a stick), massages (of all kinds), travel packages, fake IDs, and I’m sure ‘other’ things that are not necessarily displayed on the fold-out tables lining the sidewalks. Everything looks cheap and is cheap.

Our group stopped here for drinks on our last night together at one of the dozens of bars. It’s certainly not an area chock full of tradition or culture, but it’s still a sight to behold. I also returned another day to get my hair cut and highlighted and a little brow wax—all costing me about one fourth of what it would back in Chicago.

Of course, most of the time I walked around the city… this song kept popping into my head. It kinda sums it up. Sing along if you’d like.

One Night In Bangkok
THE AMERICAN:
Bangkok, Oriental setting
And the city don’t know what the city is getting
The creme de la creme of the chess world in a
Show with everything but Yul Brynner

Time flies – doesn’t seem a minute
Since the Tirolean spa had the chess boards in it
All change – don’t you know that when you
Play at this level there’s no ordinary venue

It’s Iceland… or the Philippines… or Hastings… or… or this place!

COMPANY:
One night in Bangkok and the world’s your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain’t free
You’ll find a god in every golden cloister
And if you’re lucky then the god’s a she
I can feel an angel sliding up to me

THE AMERICAN:
One town’s very like another
When your head’s down over your pieces, brother

COMPANY:
It’s a drag, it’s a bore, it’s really such a pity
To be looking at the board, not looking at the city

THE AMERICAN:
Whaddya mean? Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town…

COMPANY:
Tea, girls, warm, sweet, sweet
Some are set up in the Somerset Maugham suite

THE AMERICAN:
Get Thai’d! You’re talking to a tourist
Whose every move’s among the purest
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine

COMPANY:
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can’t be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me

THE AMERICAN:
Siam’s gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness
This grips me more than would a
Muddy old river or reclining Buddha

And thank God I’m only watching the game, controlling it

I don’t see you guys rating
The kind of mate I’m contemplating
I’d let you watch, I would invite you
But the queens we use would not excite you

So you better go back to your bars, your temples, your massage parlours

COMPANY:
One night in Bangkok and the world’s your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain’t free
You’ll find a god in every golden cloister
A little flesh, a little history
I can feel an angel sliding up to me

One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can’t be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me